I keep having dreams about waterfalls and Suicide?

it started about a week ago. i usually cant remember my dreams, but i specifically remember seeing waterfalls in my dreams every night. i remember almost always feeling lost, sad, stuff like that. i jump into the water, close my eyes, and drift down the river and over the edge. last night it was strange because instead of just going right over and dying, my boyfriend jumped into the water, grabbed me, and we went down together. sometimes the waterfall is indoors, sometimes its on a mountain, sometimes its a long forested river. and a word i specifically remember from each of my dreams is asrai. idk how to say it right. does anyone know why i keep having these dreams over and over again??