Cutting will calm me down?

I do understand what you are going through. Been there ..it provides a sense of control, and a release, a real pain to focus on instead of the emotional kind right? BUT..you have got to get professional help to stop this there really is no other way...and I don;t know how young you are but one day when your older you will really regret those scars, There are a lot of good websites that might also help you..but you have to get some kind of help....good luck to you